If there's one topic which is even more wearisome than global warming, it is the subject of Israel. What will we do with Israel? The Saracens do not want to be governed by the Jews, the Jews do not want to be governed by the Saracens. My initial solution to this problem was quite simple: Both should convert to the Catholic faith and submit themselves to the judgment of Rome. Then I thought to myself 'No Andronicus! This will never work'. Observing that the problem was more serious than I had in first anticipated, I meditated on it for a while longer. Then, in a stroke of inspiration, i was struck with the only solution to the issue which could ever actually work.
If the Jews will not live under the Saracens and the Saracens the Jews, it is obvious a third party is needed. Thus, to solve this issue we need to reintroduce the states of the Latin East. After all, if descendants from the Kings of Jerusalem could be tracked down and the Kingdom of Jerusalem/Country of Tripoli were reborn, we could nullify the problems of Israel, Palestine and Lebanon in one fell swoop. Now, I know what you're thinking. As you have doubtlessly been misled by the evils of the education system you probably believe the crusaders to be nothing more than violent butchers. This of course relatively untrue. Though the military enterprises fought by the Latins inevitably ended in bloodbaths, the Latins often made a point of massacring the occupants of settlements which who failed to surrender to them, much of the period between 1100 and 1291 was marked by toleration. Though inevitably society was governed by a Frankish aristocracy, the political system which developed was not overly different from the Islamic system so widely praised today (under Islam, Christians and Jews paid a special Tax, under the Latins it was it was Jews and Muslims). Indeed, though we are taught that the crusades produced nothing more than violent intolerance, in reality the Hospital in Jerusalem treated anyone regardless of race or Faith and Muslim noble Usamah ibn-Munqidh even tells us of how he was assisted by some friendly Templars, the same Templars who are so often the bogey-men of modern dramatic works.
Yes, it is true that the last time the West tried to occupy the Palestinian coast it all went horribly wrong, but what is there left to lose? Christendom certainly deserves a second crack of the whip - between the suicide bombs and the helicopter strikes it can hardly be said that our history makes us seem any worse.
technorati tags:Israel, palestine, Jerusalem, Lebanon, conflict
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