Britain has always been multicultural? Tell that to Hereward the Wake.

Once again the media deals with history in the way it knows best: using lies and ignorance. This week, they report that the fact that 7 Yorkshiremen have possible genetic links to North Africa clearly shows 'People of African origin have lived in Britain for centuries'. Of course, the article goes on to debunk itself, explaining that the scientific study in question found that all of the individuals shared a single ancestor. Nontheless, it does mark the latest incident in a heretical trend.

Indeed, in this historically-ignorant age, such sentiments are commonly expressed. It is accepted knowledge that Britain has always been multi cultural - after all 'wot about the Romans an' stuff'. Such sentiments are, however, the territory of imbeciles. Along with the Romans, people often cite the Norman conquest as an example of 'multiculturalism'. But which part are they citing? The part where the peasentry of England remain stable while only the aristocracy are dispossed, perhaps? Or do they prefer to look at the arbitrary forest law, a law which was wielded like a club against the common man? Maybe they'd prefer to discuss the slaughter of hhousands of innocents and the depopulation of chunks of the country?

To anyone who knows a thing about historical truth, The Norman Conquest was horrendous for the English. This is why, for centuries afterwards, the deeds of (spirited but ultimately doomed) English Rebel Hereward the Wake were recited in the taverns, and, even into the fourteenth century, preachers commonly used the conquest as a prime example of divine punishment. If the Norman conquest is an example of multiculturalism, than so too must the British Empire and the Nazi concentration camps. After all, did the British Empire not intoduce Caucasians to parts of Africa and Asia? did the Nazi camps not contain large numbers of Jews, Slavs and Roma?

Of course, this is not to say that multiculturalism is automatically a bad thing (although its lack of medieval precedent would make it seem a little unnatural). However, what it does show is that the flowers of history are too precious to be abused for cheap gain by petty tax collectors and office clerks who disguise themselves as noble leaders. In truth, there is no precedent for what is going on in this strange kingdom today, and it is a great wrong to try and make one. One of the greatest ills of the Middle Ages, an ill from which the mentality of the medieval man was slowly escaping, was the fear of innovation and the rabid desire to create false precedent. It saddens me that we are so ready to repeat the wrongs of the Middle Ages, yet so slow to emulate its virtues.

technorati tags:Medieval, Hereward, the, Wake, multiculturalism, BBC, Nazis, British, empire, England, Normans

Conspiracy!

Alas, yesterday I beheld a sight which was most soothing to my weary eyes. It was the work of an unknown kindred spirit , whose love for the Middle Ages evidently led them to anarchically refuse to follow the fascistic rules of modern grammar and spelling. This work, this post-modern thesis of Lutheran proportions, was cunningly disguised as a rather illiterate attempt at producing a lost-property notice and, rather than pinned to a cathedral door, was stuck to the side of a bus stop.  When i returned to this ticking time-bomb  today, with the stout hauberk of my camera ready to receive the notice's piercing arrows of light in order to record it for posterity, it had been torn down.

Was this the work of the mindless yobbos created by the national 'curriculum'? or was this the work of the minions of the powers that be, knowing that their own world view would share the fate of that of the Middle Ages if the post-modern 95 Theses remained posted up? For once, this is a conspiracy theory worth investigating. It's just a shame that the conspiracy theorists are too busy discussing whether the 9/11 attacks were carried out by Elvis-loving intergalactic Mossad agents from Mars in order to care.

technorati tags:Conspiracy, martin, luther, 9/11, mossad, elvis

See! Charlie Brooker Agrees with me!

Over at the Guardian today, Charlie Brooker discusses the inherent problems with allowing the heaving masses to have access to the media tools needed for them to sow the seeds of their ignorance into the ripe soil of other, equally uneducated, minds. Naturally, he has received a stern rebuke from the publication's foolish readership. However, their rabid mouth-frothing has only proved his point further, as can further be seen by the desperate attempts made by the heretics to extract themselves from the hypocritical position of defending bigots under the banner of liberalism.

Though correct, Mr Brooker, is evidently too connected to the modern world to see the true extent of the problem. The vortex of stupidity that is the BBC's 'Have Your Say' section is but the mere tip of the Iceberg. The real problem here is, of course, the invention of paper and the printing press. In man's golden age, literacy was a commodity. You were privileged if you were able to read, and even more privileged if you were able to write. Thus, though conventional wisdom would have you believe that mass literacy is a good thing, realistically it's a catastrophe. The old system was self-policing. After all, the scarcity of both training and parchment meant that only intelligent minds would have access to the materials needed to write original works, and the laboriousness of the copying process meant that only brilliant minds would have their works recreated in sufficient numbers to ensure any long-term survival. The removal of these safeguards dooms us to slowly drown in a colossal pool of our own verbal excrement. Medieval man knew the opinions of St Thomas and St Augustine were worth more than those of a simple rustic and because we have ignored their sage advice not only are we are eternally doomed to listening to the opinions of 'Dave' from 'Dagenham' but also to knowing that, far from Roger Bacon or Chaucer, the legacy we will leave to future generations is a million unsold copies of 'The Amber Spy Glass', the 'Halo' novelizations and the works of Jeremy Clarkson.

technorati tags:Charlie, Brooker, Medieval, History, paper, printing, Jeremy, clarkson, Amber, Spyglass, Guardian, BBC

Architecture

Not so long ago, I made a most enjoyable journey to Rochester Castle:

It is, indeed, a breathtaking sight. It is hard to believe that it has stood in its current location for hundreds of years and, though now nothing more than a ruin, its walls have nontheless withstood all attempts by both man and Mother Nature to send them tumbling to the ground. "If they could build such awe-inspiring constructions all those years ago, what marvels must they be capable of building today, fully equipped with the trappings of contemporary training and technology?" I hear you ask. The newspaper cuttings below say it all. To avoid my protests against the 20th century becoming repatative, I will make no further comment on the incompetenticies of the modern age:

technorati tags:Castles, architecture, history, incompetence, clissold, park, leisure, centre, rochester

A Note On Honour and Honourable Conduct

Current events are somewhat tiresome at present. Fortunately however my own experiences in the wider world are providing me with the stimuli i need in order to write.

Just a few nights ago, for example, this most unworthy of authors decided to nourish his weary soul by engaging in some honorable combat, courtesy of his fancy Xbox CCCLX computerbox. I soon found myself a group of fellow warriors who (despite their later behavior) seemed a meritorious group, and, dividing into two squadrons, we soon set about the noble business of fighting. Alas, though your author undertook many manly acts that day - bravely charging into the enemy ranks, meeting the enemy blow for blow and missile for missile - nonetheless the conclusion of the affair is something which would be better forgotten rather than recorded for posterity. No sooner had my comrades and I gained the better of the fighting had three of our enemies taken to ignoble flight. Rather than having the opportunity than to run them through, they simply faded out of reach as they disconnected from the network. Our sole remaining adversary proved to be a stout fellow, however. Despite facing impossible odds, he chose to fight on - refusing to give an inch. I took heart at this. " It would seem", i said to my comrades "that we should use the weakest of arms against this fellow. It only seems fair, after all, that we give this noble soul a fair chance since he has opted not to deprive us of our quarry". My allies, however, proved to be far less praise-worthy than either myself or our opponent. "Why would we do that?" one of them sneered, "Would you do that in a real war?"

In answer, sir, of course I would. Such a noble warrior deserves the chance to do battle on even ground, and, alongside this, I would hope that after seeing such a display of compassion and chivalry my opponent would do the same if the tables were turned in some future encounter. This simple concept, of listening to one's conscience and treating people in the way you wish to be treated, is one which was present in Medieval thought and underpins the ideals of honor and chivalry, as we can see from the words Froissart puts into the mouth of Sir Walter Manny at the Siege of Calais. On hearing that King Edward wished to avenge himself against the inhabitants of the town, for example, Froissart writes "My Lord, you may well be mistaken, and you are setting a bad example for us. Suppose one day you sent us to defend one of your fortresses, we should go less cheerfully if you have these people put to death, for then they would do the same to us if they had a chance" (Jean Froissart, Chronicles, trans. G Brereton (London, 1978), p. 106.) Quite frankly, though a resurgence in honorable conduct would certainly help on the shameful field of modern combat, it would also do endless good if practiced in the rest of society as so much of modern life appears to be ruled by selfish, but self-defeating, idiocy. On the London Underground, for example, many people chose to force themselves on the occupants of the nearest train carriage as soon as the train doors have opened. This, of course, is certainly folly - for aside from the fact they need people to alight the train to produce the space needed for them to embark, when it comes to their own turn to alight they find ther path blocked by a crush of self-important ignoramuses. My dear readers, treat your fellow men with the same degree of patience and respect that you would wish to receive yourself. Such selfless behavior may seem onerous to begin with, but, in the long run, it would be of great personal benefit to us all.

technorati tags:Gears, of, war, honour, honor, Froissart, medieval, modern, life

Hierarchical Society Is Probably A Good Thing

Today's top news story appears to be centered on the poor treatment received by famous Indian actress Shilpa Shetty in that most modern of abominations, 'Celebrity Big Brother'. To the author of this humble work, it would appear the only newsworthy item here is the question of why anyone would expect anything different. The commons are, after all, quite a repugnant bunch - and it would appear that the Goody woman in particular is obviously useful for nothing more taxing than milking cows (or possible Ale brewing). Forcing our foreign guest, whose noble words and features show her to be of a far higher rank of person, to reside with such a squawking monstrosity is a most evil act. She would, after all, be shown no respect even if she was an envoy from Prester John himself.

Quite how a society can ban a trifle like cock fighting yet let such a crime against nature continue is quite beyond me.

Tyranical End For Tyrant's Lackies

In the early hours of this morning, more of Saddam Hussein's lackies met their ends at the hands of Iraqi authorities, ungraciously strung up like commoners (and how else should they die? It would appear that, like the West, the Saracens have sadly also chosen to be ruled by plebs in business suits rather than by individuals of noble descent.) Criticism of these events is more muted than it was in the case of the big man himself, but nonetheless it is still present.

Quite how anyone could support or show remorse for the passing Saddam and his cronies is beyond both myself and presumably anyone else who is versed in the proper relationships between ruler and ruled. Saddam Hussein chose to follow a tyrannical path, ruling through savage fits of violence. In the end, he was unable to chart a course through the perilous storms which had gathered against him and in his weakness those he had wronged in turn wronged him. Had he set out on a more merciful route to begin with, he may have escaped with both his authority and his life intact.

Indeed, while his supporters may be tempted to blame the USA for their troubles, in reality blame for Iraq's present state must surely be placed on a neglectful leader. Had Saddam acted as a wise and realistic leader, appearing bare-foot in the snow before those who opposed him, like Emperor Henry IV before Pope Gregory VII, the flames of war would have been prematurely snuffed out. Instead, like a bad captain, he steered his ship into rocky waters, and now the people of Iraq lay shipwrecked amid a sea of parasitic foreign interests.

Saddam Hussein was a leader who brutalised those whom it was his duty to rule and who let his arrogance lead him to place his land on a path of destruction. By anyone's standards, he was a bad ruler who met a fitting end. He deserves no tears. While the critera of 'Good intent' is up in the air, it is clear from the work of Anselm of Lucca and the ruling of Pope Zachary (on the importance of de facto power) that the coalition quite clearly possessed a just cause the appropriate authority to carry out their campaign.

American Student Victimised Because of Public Display of Taste and Decency

Today my attention has been drawn to a story of incredible importance. An American school, obviously jealous of how much more manly and noble their students look when dressed in medieval armour, have banned a student from appearing kitted-out in mail in the school's year book.

Officially, the reason for this is something to do with a "zero tolerance policy" for weapons, but this is obviously a case of thinly disguised racism. Look at the gentlemen in question:


True, he may have the kind of peculiar features one could expect to belong to a serial killer and/or rapist, but once he has donned his armour his figure is obviously transformed into one of distinguished gentility. It would appear that the authorities at "Portsmouth High School" realised that, if we medievalists were to throw aside our modern garb and to take up the noble dress of a superior era, we would outshine our contemporaries dressed in dull modern fashions and thus the tissues of lies they tell about the Middle Ages would be unraveled and thus destroyed.

Patrick Agin, we salute you and your family for standing up to such harsh oppression by taking those involved thorough the King's court - and we salute all members of the Society for Creative Anachronism for preaching such a noble way of life in a land which is the bastard-child of the diabolical modern age.

Well-Respected Scholar Attacked by Police

It has come to my attention that, over there in the land which probably should have been left undiscovered, a number of law enforcement officials took it upon themselves to batter an (apparently highly intimidating ) university lecturer who had accidentally broken important local customs relating to the crossing of public roads.

Now this attack is not something that I am automatically opposed to per se, it does seem quite unnatural that university staff in general have grown too accustomed to the security which comes from not being regularly molested and attacked by an angered student body, but I am perplexed by popular reaction to the incident. Just look at the commentary inspired by this relatively placid editiorial by the man in question, Professor Fernandez-Armesto. It would appear that (quite predictably) the majority of great unwashed hate anyone who has half a brain or a hint of education. I wonder, however, why if they all hate "wimp professors" who "think [their] brain is superior, and exempt from any courtesy", they defer the authority to attack such academics to the mindless drones of law enforcement. The university of Cambridge, for example, was only formed because the townspeople of Oxford grew weary of the presence of the university in their town and took it upon themselves to drive the students out. It perplexes me that, in an age where even the most foolish common man has a degree of political freedom, people are less willing to contemplate decisive action than they were in an age where they were supposedly crushed beneath the giant boot of 'Feudalism'. Why allow your rights to be usurped by tiresome and incompetent government departments?

Everything's gone Wrong.

In general, the 'Renaissance' and the 'Enlightenment' have been characterised as movements which were beneficial to mankind. As our society desperately thrashes around in the new century, clumsily clawing away at the pit of mediocrity into which we have fallen, I feel compelled to disagree. People are quick to criticise the Middle Ages (Indeed, the term 'medieval' itself is constantly used as a derogatory one,) yet the 'Middle Ages' they attack is often a strawman - a composite of lies created by ignorant Victorian buffoons who were so absorbed in their sense of superiority that they could not comprehend the beauty and genius of the period they defiled. If people only studied the real past so much of the imbecility of the modern world could be avoided. The concept of democracy was, for example, well known in the Middle Ages. The reason it was not put into place was because it was regarded as a terrible form of government, and one only needs to watch the tedious weekly pantomime which masquerades as 'Prime Minister's Questions' to realise that Chaucer's measure of the system was indeed correct and that government would probably be better off in the hands of ' a few folk who are wise and full of reason, rather than a great multitude of people in which every man shouts and prattles on about what-ever he wants'.

But I digress too far. The point of this post was to introduce my blog, a blog which is based on my belief that the time-line has been corrupted and that everything has, in fact, gone wrong. It is my intention to juxtapose current affairs with the beliefs and actions of a superior era to illustrate why everything is so weedy and why so much has gone rubbish.